Hollwood: DEAD and Rotting Fast.....

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The Last House on the Left

Yes, I went to see The Last House on the Left. Why not? I'm the guy who sees all these movies. I might have missed stuff like The Reader and Milk, but by God, I've seen My Bloody Valentine 3D and Friday the 13th. And now I've seen this remake of the Wes Craven cult film (something in my brain just prohibits me from calling it a "classic") about revenge.

I'm not even sure it's a horror film. I guess it's closer to some of those torture porn films that have been the rage for several years now, but seem to have been petering out (except for the annual Saw Halloween gasp). I can't remember ever watching the original Last House all the way through, but I understand from folks who've been there that it's a hard one to take. Quick premise (although, if you're reading this blog, chances are excellent you already know): two teenage girls out for a fun drive are waylaid by a pack of scuzzy psychos, who proceed to rape, abuse, and kill them. The psychos are forced to hole up in a house owned by the parents of one of the girls, which even Wes Craven himself admits is one of the all-time greatest ironies in movie history. When the parents realize who they've got as guests, all hell really breaks loose.

That's the original premise. I'm going to go ahead and break my cardinal spoiler rule by telling you right here that the new movie makes one huge change to the "rape, abuse, and kill" part, a character choice that plays out in the second half of the movie. Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter play the parents, and their acting chops are several cuts above what this type of film usually employs (or deserves). I actually enjoyed their performances, as well as the performance of Sara Paxton, who plays their daughter.

This movie is really big on foreshadowing. For example, the fact that Paxton's character is a champion swimmer? Hell, you just know that'll come into play later on. Then there's the moment where Dad can't seem to fix the microwave. I won't even go there.

I'm going to give this film a 6.5 out of 10. The extra half-star is just so it'll be ranked slightly ahead of Watchmen, a movie I wanted to enjoy a lot more than I did. I guess I wasn't expecting as much out of Last House, and I wound up liking it just a bit more. How's that for irony?

Quick question: Is it possible for a microwave oven to function properly with the door open? Just curious...

Watchmen

Well, I had planned on attending the Watchmen Movie Event, when that morning Dad asks me to help him put together a bookcase. I had visions of my 78 year old father, who has many strengths but building things is NOT one of them, putting this together. So that's how I spent my morning. I still haven't seen it yet.

24

I'm starting this blog in defiance of those anonymous folks (anonymous according to Hendo, anyway) who'd rather not talk about TV shows like 24 at club meetings because they're not genre material, or something along those lines. Hah! HAH, I say! It is to laugh, I tell you!

Because...24 has rediscovered its mojo, kids. If tonight's episode is any indication, the show has returned to the heady heights of Season 5, also known as the Year of the Ratbag President, otherwise known as the Year of You Won't Know What's Coming Next. SPOILER ALERT... 24 lost a major player tonight, and it sent the show spinning off into a frantic new direction. I think Jon Voight is going to turn out to be a megavillain on the scale of Gregory Itzin's President Logan. I can't wait to see the next episode, and I haven't been able to say that for a couple of years. (Of course, that's partially due to the Writers' Strike.)

Now I have to figure out how I'm going to watch the season finale, because I'm pretty sure it's lined up for the same night (May 18) that I'll be in DC at the Springsteen concert. I guess if anything will make me miss Jack Bauer's Season 7 finale, it'll be the Boss.

Watchmen

Who watches the watchmen cakes?

And of course, some ice cream to go with them.

Shoot 'em Up

A friend of mine told me the story of her and her husband watching this movie and it intrigued me enough to want to see it.

Straight out of IMDB -

Shoot 'Em Up is a 2007 action/thriller/black comedy film written and directed by Michael Davis and produced by Susan Montford, Don Murphy and Rick Benattar. It was released in September 2007.

The film follows "Mr. Smith" (Clive Owen), a drifter who appears to have an extensive military background and a fondness for carrots who wants nothing more than to be left alone.

Smith finds himself embroiled in a complex political conspiracy once he aids a pregnant woman who is going into labour while being chased by a hitman. After the woman is killed, he takes the baby and goes on the run with a lactating prostitute named Donna (Monica Bellucci).

The unlikely family is trailed by the intelligent and ruthless Hertz (Paul Giamatti) and his army of thugs. A plethora of elaborate gunfights ensue, between which Smith pieces together the real story. More gunfights and car chases and more gunfire and incredible situations, escapes, rescues and more gunfights.

*edited slightly so not to give too much away

It was incredible to say the least and amazing to say the most. I would love to learn the number of gunshots fired/bullets used. I would imagine that for at least 70 of the 86 minute movie there were guns being fired.

Oh, lots of blood, lots of wild escapes, sliding across floors as they are shooting, leaping across building, crashing thru windows, surviving 50 hoods coming to get you and almost none of them surviving. Yes, there is action, some black comedy, even some mystery as things unfold. I was even reminded of Raising Arizona for a minute or two in the way things proceeded.

I suggest, if you haven't seen it already, go, go watch it soon. But be prepared.

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Watchmen

John and I went to see WATCHMEN at the AMC White Marsh IMAX this afternoon, and I was disappointed that more club members didn't decide to check out the 12:30 show. Mr. Diggin was in attendance (hey, Tom!) and we talked a bit about the movie afterward. I'll let Tom share his views at the March club meeting. As for me, I was a little underwhelmed.



It certainly wasn't the technical wizardry that turned me off. The movie looks great; director Zach Snyder and his crew of FX wizards have captured exactly how the most celebrated graphic novel of all time should look on the screen. Which, I think, is the big problem.



I'm a huge fan of the original Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons comic; my son got me the ultimate hardcover edition for my birthday, and while I have been savoring it, he pretty much swallowed it whole, sort of a preparation for seeing the film. He loved the book, and liked the movie, but he agreed with my feelings. Snyder has basically recreated the novel; he's copied it, scene for scene, line for line, and in many cases, almost shot for shot. That kind of approach doesn't leave much room for inspiration. It really stifles the film, IMHO.



I think Snyder just plain lacks the vision. You can't say he was afraid of offending the author, because super-curmudgeon Alan Moore, who also created From Hell and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, had already blasted the filmmakers for daring to make the film. (He basically considers his works unfilmable.)



I can't help comparing Snyder to Peter Jackson. Jackson did something very similar -- he dared to adapt a genre legend, one that many folks felt was impossible -- but he breathed new life into a classic, insinuating his own imagination into The Lord of the Rings, extending scenes and deepening characters. By contrast, there's absolutely nothing in WATCHMEN that wasn't first done (better) in the graphic novel.



With one very important exception. I have to admit that Jackie Earle Haley did a fantastic job as Rorschach, the psychotic in the trenchcoat and inkblot mask. You could tell that was a real actor working under that mask -- something I hadn't seen since Hugo Weaving in V FOR VENDETTA (by coincidence, another Moore work.) Haley really buried himself in the role, and when he ripped his mask off to face Dr. Manhattan at the end, you could see the anguish of a scarred lifetime running across his face. It was an Oscar-caliber performance in an otherwise forgettable cast.



I'm really interested to hear what the rest of you thought of the film, and believe me, if you loved it, say so -- I loved the graphic novel, too. I guess I was just expecting a little more than a simple retread on the screen. I'd give WATCHMEN 6 out of 10 stars.